Zoom Zoom

My name is Rob, and I think zoom lenses are stupid. And by stupid, I mean inferior, in some instances, to prime lenses.

When I got my first DSLR years ago, it didn't take long to figure out that the 18-55 kit lens wasn't gonna cut it. Unfortunately, I hadn't seen the light yet, and still wanted a do-everything-lens.

My first upgrade was an $800 18-200mm. It was a substantial upgrade from the kit lens my camera came with. I was just pleased as punch with it. For about a year.

I was starting to figure things out, realizing I needed faster glass. When I was lusting over new expensive gear, I sought after more zooms: the 10-22, the 24-70 f/2.8, and the 70-200 f/2.8. That would cover everything I ever needed!

It's a good thing I was broke at the time, or I would have ended up with a bunch of glass I didn't need.

What I did end up with is cheap and very capable 35mm f/1.8.

Through that enormous aperture, I finally saw the light.

Prime lenses are win. They have a number of advantages over zooms.

They're superior optically compared to zooms. They tend to be more compact and lighter compared to zooms. And, they tend to be cheaper compared to zooms, even with a faster aperture.

Most importantly, they make you think! You can't just stand there like an idiot zooming in and out to get the framing and composition you want. A prime lens will force you to consider your perspective, and actually move around to get the shot you want. That's what my 35 did for me. I ended up with fewer snapshots and more real photographs. After a short time, it was all but permanently attached to my camera. The only reason it left, is when I needed considerable more reach than the 35 would allow.

My photographs became better as I learned to fart more. I learned that primes are the way to go for the photography that I like to produce.

All that being said, zooms do still serve a purpose. Professional wedding photographers and photo-journalists stick to zooms because they can't afford to re-position the subject or move to different location, otherwise the shot they wanted is gone forever.

Aside from those two instances, the only thing that zooms offer is convenience. You won't have to change lenses as often, which leads to dust build-up on the sensor and the glass itself.

Prime lenses will still be smaller, and lighter, and sharper, and faster, and cheaper than their zoomy counterparts.

Which are you going to choose?

Mind Over Matter

My name is Rob, and I matter. I'm gonna tell you a true story about a famous photographer from New York City. But, I can't tell you his name, because he doesn't have one. Because this is a fictitious tale.

This famous photographer was invited to a dinner party. When he arrived the hostess offered to take his coat, and in recognizing him, paid him a compliment.

I just love your pictures, she said. You must have a wonderful camera!

He took his compliment graciously, handed over his coat, and made his way to the bar.

After a delightful dinner, the famous photographer piped up to pay gratitude to the hostess.

What a delectable dinner! You must have an amazing stove!

If this joke makes any sense to you, then you already know what I'm going to tell you. But, keep reading. It's the polite thing to do, ya know.

It's a popular theme amongst new photographers and people who don't know shit about shit - that it's the camera that makes the picture.

It's true. The camera does make the picture, but it doesn't make the picture. The photographer does.

The camera you use doesn't matter.

Sort of.

You can hand a $7,000 rig to any putz that isn't a photographer and he'll be able to take a picture, but it probably won't be a good one. Sure, the colors will be accurate, and it might even be in focus, but it won't be anything to write home about.

On the other side, you can hand a Fisher-Price camera to Henri Cartier-Bresson, and he'll end up with something stellar because he knows what he's doing.

The father of street photography shot with a Leica range finder and a 50mm lens almost exclusively. It's all he needed to capture the images he desired.

So, why, then, do all the folks with multi-thousand dollar outfits say the camera doesn't matter? And why do the folks to just bought a DSLR with a kit lens say if only I had such-and-such, then I'd be able to take amazing pictures!

The answer is simple. We get paid to be fast.

We could get the same results with a super-zoom point and shoot, but fiddling with it takes away from time we could spend shooting. If you have to dig your way through 150,000 layers of menus just to change the ISO you're gonna miss your shot.

My big fancy camera looks daunting and complicated with it's gazillion buttons because every one of them does something quickly. I change virtually any setting on the thing with a press of a single button and the flick of a dial. More importantly, all this can be done on the fly with the camera held up to my face.

The other thing, where the "Sort of" up there comes into play, is fast glass. You can't really take pictures like this with a standard 18-55mm kit lens.

There's an incredibly shallow depth of field here at f/1.4, but does this sort of thing come into play often?

Not at all.

Shots generally don't happen with a wide-open aperture. When they do, the bride's eye will be in focus, but her nose won't be. Super shallow depth of field is for specialty shots.

Even at f/4.0, you can throw the background out of focus enough to make your subject pop.

See? Even if the background isn't fuzzy enough for you, you can usually move your subject further away from it to accomplish the same thing.

You don't need a fast lens, but it sure does come in handy from time to time.

That brings us to the gist of the whole thing.  Pro photographers don't spend thousands on bodies and lenses to make them better photographers, they spend money on efficiency.

Our time isn't best spent farting around with menus, or moving subjects around. Our best time is spent just farting.

Farts

My name is Rob, and I fart without shame. Ken Rockwell is a pretty polarizing figure in the world of photography. Some folks think he's a no-talent hack. Some think he's the best photographer since Ansel Adams. Whatever your opinion, he came up with an acronym that I'm going to expound upon to make your pictures suck less.

What's the acronym, you ask?

F.A.R.T.

The F is for feeling - when you get the feeling to take a picture. Whether you're at a backyard barbeque, or on a photo-walk, or you're a paid professional on a shoot, the feeling is the same. Something catches your eye that you think is photo worthy. The subject could be a dog throwing his toy up in the air, or a glint of light off of a lake, or a sunset. Sometimes it's so overwhelmingly obvious that you ventured to that spot solely to take a picture, like the grand canyon.

The next step is to Assess. What, exactly, made you want to take a picture? Was it the way a shadow laid on the ground? Was it some action that you want to capture, or the colors of sundown? This portion can be quite tough. You can think it's totally obvious what caught your eye, and end up with an extraordinarily boring snap shot, because you didn't narrow down what it was that you saw to begin with.

This is where bad photographers reside. They see something interesting, hold the camera to their face and press the shutter release. They might end up with something wonderful, but more often than not they end up with something boring because the camera doesn't see the same things we do. They end up with branches growing out of people's ears, or sunsets with power poles distracting you from the brilliant colors, or a busy street filled with people taking your attention away from the Lamborghini parked on the side of the road.

That brings us to the most important and most difficult part - Refining. This is where you actually compose and frame your shot. The object here is to remove or minimize anything and everything that distracts the viewer from what it is you want them to see. It often requires moving back and forth, getting up in the air or laying on the ground. It can require whether or not to use a flash to fix the lighting or if you want the background to be out of focus or not. Anything you can think of should be taken into account of how to accentuate your subject, and mitigate any distractions. Sometimes it takes quite a while, and other times it's instantly apparent how you should compose the shot.

But, you should always study your composition because, again, the camera sees things differently than we do. The camera is not discerning - capturing everything that is there - while your eyes will filter out things that aren't important, like your camera bag sitting in the corner of the frame or the power lines running across the architecture.

Once you've managed to get everything you want out of the frame, you've reached the easiest and final step in the farting process.

Take the picture. After you've thought about what grabbed your attention, decided what it was that did, and organized your shot to bring as much attention as possible to it, all you have to do is press a button.

Voila! you now have a spectacular picture to bring back memories or to share with friends and family. If you can think about farting when you're out with your camera you will become a better photographer. You'll receive more fulfillment when you fart, and other people will enjoy your work more if you farted first.

Now, go forth, out into the world around you, and fart with every opportunity!